The 3 Levels of Ascension- What is it like to Wake up?

May 29, 2019

Let’s talk about the process of Ascension.

It has recently been divined to me that our ascension occurs in three stages, or levels.

As the newly minted “1-Day Ascension Queen”, I’m here to explore these levels with you.

Here is what I’ve got so far:

Ascension Level 1- The Curious Rebel

Keywords:

Nothing fits me

AM I wrong?

feeling trapped

isolation

There must be something more...

This is the period BEFORE our ascension officially begins. It starts at birth, and may include a tendency towards dreaming, imagining, living on "the left side", the mystical, spiritual, receiving side of life. Noticing the spaces between as the autumn leaves drift from the trees. A curiosity in the occult, the world not seen but felt. Feeling “separate” or “different”- or perhaps none of these things are present at all. Either way, you are a fertile ground to “catch” the seed of your ascension.

Ascension level 1- The Flickering Hologram

Keywords:

First Contact

Increase in Polarity

Triumph and Tragedy

Drawing inward

Doesn't translate

It has begun. First come the pangs of high emotion. Deep feelings that you've missed so much. The remembrance of your capacity to feel. Their signature is so strong, you believe your world has changed forever. You must be a completely new person now, right? You feel so much... bigger. Brighter. More expanded. Perhaps there IS a purpose to all if this madness, perhaps you were always RIGHT that there is another way to live. And now you are going to live it!

And then comes the fall. Many Dark Nights. The flame in your heart is still lit, but its' glow is shadowed by self doubt. Your reality fails to reflect the profound beauty you experienced- just hours, days, weeks ago. The ego rails, looking for places to attach as the polarity of your world increases. There are breakthroughs, but just enough to keep you from giving up. You are thankful to tears when they arrive. You are a flickering hologram, at level 1 of ascension.

Ascension level 2- split between two worlds- the speeding rollercoaster

Keywords:

Who am I really?

Spiral Patterns

Learning to Surrender

Skepticism

Moderate corrections

Ok, I'm starting to get this...

Solid Faith

The speeding rollercoaster is where things heat up. While in the flickering hologram stage, you spent most of your time in a sleeping state, whether you knew it or not. Now, you find yourself more evenly split between two worlds: that of your old self, and the New. Just like a rollercoaster, you’re getting flipped around with rapidly changing ups and downs, twists and turns. After a few rounds on the ride though, you start to pick up on the patterns. What you’re going through is rounds of activation (increase in your spiritual frequency), followed by periods of integration (the changes that have to occur in your body and your life to balance out the activations). The healing of your life happens in layers, and you may feel as if you’re spiraling around the same core issues. Though you will encounter your lower self, self doubts will arise, you’ll question if you’re a “fraud”, wonder if you’ve gone crazy… FAITH is the name of this game. The more faith you hold, the more you will ENJOY this precious time in your ascension journey.

Ascension Level 3 - the sapling- rooted tree

Keywords:

The Teacher

The Wayshower

I LIVE here

Deep Compassion

Tiny Spirals

Wave surfer

I AM the New

This is the Shangri-la of the ascension journey that most humans are undertaking here on earth, now. At this stage, we’ve fully “landed” on the new earth grid. There is no more split between two worlds, no more roller coaster ride of higher and lower self. Though of course we are still human, and still experiencing human emotions and challenges, the CONSCIOUSNESS has grown large enough to hold all the aspects of us as the One Self. We have gained the bird’s eye view of life on earth, while retaining the intimacy of being on the ground floor of our humanity. This is a place of great power, and also great compassion. Congratulations! Though evolution of consciousness never ends, your initial ascension journey is complete. Time to go create heaven on earth!

Discernment and Why I Shaved My Head

November 20, 2018

This is me about a week following buzz-day

For those that are still unaware, I shaved my head (number 2 on the buzzer) 9/23/18.

Following my trip to Sedona (9/11 -9/18) where I attended the Sophia Code Divine Feminine Christ Leadership initiate conference, many things had shifted internally.

A few weeks before I left for this conference, I experienced a very upsetting, cataclysmic split from my two closest friends (a husband and wife pair), and my main community here in RI.

THAT is a story of good intentions, infidelity, polyamorous philosophy, truth telling, spiritual exploration, authenticity, blind trust, and in the end, sacred partnership. It is also a story of unrecognized innocence and inner child healing. The details will have to be saved for another time, or never.

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

Well, there were many contributing factors. But the main one is this, and it's something I've been praying for for a long time:

DISCERNMENT.

I've always known that going against my desires, feelings, instincts - just to adhere to some set of morals or rules, was never going to work for me.

Intuitively I knew, I was here to say and do things that would go against many societal norms, and so I absolutely had to develop my own inner compass - an internal guidance system I could rely on to lead me down a seldom traveled path.

This adherence to my own inner voices above those of society, my peers, my elders - has gotten me into a lot of trouble.

But it has also allowed me to develop that thing I insisted on having- DISCERNMENT.

WHAT IS DISCERNMENT?

Discernment is the ability to detect where your feelings are arising from. It is knowing the difference between a Divinely Inspired Action (one that comes from your higher self, from source, from your highest and most benevolent guides...) and an attempt from a wounded aspect of yourself to get the healing it needs. Might sound simple, but until you develop a strong relationship with your heart, your intuition, your gut instincts, your clair-abilities (clairvoyance, clairsentience, clairaudience) - BOTH inspired actions and needy ones can feel POSITIVE, BENEFICIAL, and GOOD.

EXAMPLE: Perhaps you remember a time when gossiping felt good to you. Maybe you experienced a hyper, excited feeling when you had something juicy to talk about regarding another person, and this felt good to you. Maybe it made you feel bigger when the story was about someone else. But then you changed. Became more aware. Realized that when there is an UPside, there is always a DOWNside, and you can't actually have one without the other. Suddenly the vibration that gossip rides on doesn't feel just GOOD to you, it feels GIDDY. That is discernment - something which used to fall under the broad banner of the feeling GOOD is split into many shades, and you know which of those shades are beneficial and which ones are not. Now when you get the feeling of giddiness, you know to steer clear.

Sometimes you can KNOW something, but still turn a blind eye toward it because KNOWING is not the same as HEALING.

My lack of discernment, coupled with an unwavering quest for it, is ultimately what got me in trouble this time, too! But I did get the clarity I was seeking in the end.

NOW BACK TO MY HAIR

The truth is, I've had an attachment to my hair for a long time. Or rather, I was attached to what I felt my hair bought me, which was increased femininity, attractiveness, and higher perceived value in society - specifically to men. In fact I’ve been told directly by many men that they prefer long hair.

There was also this other thing- attractiveness meant safety to me. I had a core belief that if I was pleasing to look at, I would not be physically hurt. I can't tell you where this belief came from, except that for me femininity crossed over into submissiveness, imbalance of power, dependence.... it actually felt a lot like the need babies and children have to be "cute", so adults will be more motivated to care for them.

Aha - this was the same unhealed, inner child part of me that had me compromising myself to create good feelings in others, and which also locked me into a karmic relationship where the intense desire to recognize and meet unfilled needs overran my higher goals and aspirations. THAT got me in trouble with my friends. There is my discernment.

Compassion for myself and others was important here. Healing is a life long process, and even though I’d already spent countless hours in classes, workshops, meditations, and inner philosophy development, I was still susceptible to this disaster. The most important thing was what I allowed myself to learn from this, and how I used this wisdom to become more aware, more self responsible, and better aligned to my highest aspirations.

Alas, I didn’t capture a photo of the snake skin, but it was found somewhere right around here.. Long Canyon Trail in Sedona, AZ

There are so many elements to this story, so much more I could say... and maybe I will, eventually. But the important thing for now is, when I came back from Sedona I'd been thoroughly changed. The part of me that needed to be pretty, that was concerned with her perceived value, that was afraid of aging, that felt unrecognized, unseen, and unloved - she fell away like an old snake skin. The vibration of love I'd called in before the summer started, and that was fully grounded and realized inside the Creative Life Center in Sedona surrounded by soul family, made me too big to fit inside of that shell. In fact, my crew and I found a snake skin in the hot, dry desert on a day we were all reborn in our own way - and I have a piece of it sitting on my altar right now.

Just days after my return from the desert, both my partner and I received messages, in separate meditations, that it was time for me to cut my hair. My message specifically was that I would shave my head.

The next morning I was ready. We came home from Starbucks to wake the kids and tell them our plan. They both objected heartily. But they quickly turned around, and my son James made this video of the experience. It was all his idea, start to finish. He took the video, and did all the editing. It was a special moment for me and my family and I'd like to share it with you.

Thank you for listening <3, and if you made it all the way through this, I hope you see some of yourself in it, that it inspires you, or that it helps illuminate some part of you.

Blessings, Chelsie

This video is about shaving my head

I Choose Me, I Free You

May 24, 2018

What does it mean to “choose yourself?”

We've encountered this phrase many times.

The concept it easy to understand:

It says, "No one can take care of me and my needs better than I can." "No one is more responsible for my well being than me." "Only I can know what is best for me, i.e what is in alignment with my own soul." "I can never truly know what is best for another."

Have you ever seen this saying - “I am not what you see in me. You are what you see in me”?

Lets flip this saying, and allow ourselves to be the student: "You are not what I see in you. I Am what I see in you".

Only when we deeply "inner stand " these words, can we let go of the arrogance of sacrificing ourselves for the benefit of others. Only when we deeply feel this truth, can we turn the laser beam of our discerning focus toward ourselves.

It takes breaking free from some deeply imprinted programs to really see, that any action we take to compromise our true selves for the perceived benefit of another, leads to direct creation of suffering for all.

Remember that true Service to Others is a Natural Response to all of your own Needs being Met Internally.

Moving away from the Polarity of "Love" and "Not Love"

In the New World, we are no longer working with polarities like “right" and “wrong", "good" and "bad" "this" and "that". There only exists a scale of Love. Many of the beliefs we hold that currently keep us from enlightenment contain large amounts of love. They are just not the highest levels available to us Now.

Before we approach the next highest level of Love, or the next greatest expansion of love, we are blinded to it. It does not exist in our reality, and therefore has no relevance in our life. When we first glimpse it, it often slips out of our fingers, leaving only the faintest hint of its scent in our hands.

(Note: When we are in this stage of upgrade, it is important to relax into observation. The less judgement or preference you subject yourself to, the easier your upgrade will be.)

Eventually, this realization of Higher Love builds up enough momentum to become part of us physically, and at this point we can no longer turn away from it.

(Note: we build momentum by opening space in our bodies for this love to flow in, calling it to us repeatedly, and holding its vibration as often as possible).

We must choose ourselves in All Ways, and we must do it bearing the signature of this new Love.

At this point, we've already rearranged our internal puzzle pieces. We just need to click them into place.

“I Choose Me, and I do it for Love. I Choose Me, I Free You”.

Conviction certainly makes difficult choices easier, but doesn’t erase the pain inherent in breaking with the old self. Only Faith, Surrender, and Trust can do that.

But this is not why I'm speaking to you today. I came to deliver the following phrase:

“I Choose Me, and I do it for Love. I Choose Me, I Free You”.

This mantra flew in like a golden pegasus, and whisked me away to a new timeline on my ascension journey.

The Eternal Grace of Self Love

Early on in the journey to Krystic (Christ) Love, we may “choose ourselves” with a bit of hardness. This hardness feels necessary to our protection when we have suffered in relationship. “ I must turn away from you and choose myself". "It is time for me to leave you behind and focus on my own healing”, or, “I’m reserving my energy knowing that I can only give from a full cup”. That last one is softer. Things are beginning to lighten.

Know that whatever feelings you encounter on your healing journey, they are your greatest helpers in that moment, and demand to be honored as such regardless of any other ideas you may have. .

And also I offer you this, as a prayer to your journey of Self Love. Say this in your own voice;

“I Choose Me. I Choose to Honor my Desires, my Heart, my Life. I choose to Listen, and to do what is most Loving and Supportive for my Self. I do not need or expect anyone else to do this for me. I Choose my Self, and therefore, I Free All Others from that responsibility.”

My Story

This prayer was born onto the page of my journal at 7:20 am on the 11th of May. The sun was shining on my back deck, and the bumblebees were just getting started with their daily work. Dried sage smoldered in a clamshell just beyond my book, smoke sweeping across the page at intervals. The black birds argued in the sky as the songbirds called out sweetly in the distance.

I wrote, “Today, I choose Me. Yesterday I also chose me, and the day before that, and one half day before that. Previously, I was choosing something else”.

Three days prior, I had broken through a chain of Karmic relationships, wherein I made another the focus of my love and attention, recognizing something special in them that I desired to nurture and watch bloom.

"This is not a narrow minded, self centered choosing. It is a gentle, graceful love, moving into my cell tissue. It is the clearing clouds, the rising sun, following a storm."

"This choosing is freedom. My own, and the others whom I'd kept locked in shapes and figures, needing them to confirm my worth and feel my love to make it real."

"I choose me, I Free You".

Throughout my life I've carried a pattern of "falling in love" with the innocence of an emotionally underdeveloped or unavailable person, usually of the opposite sex. These people are always potent souls, shining brightly beneath the surface of their conditioned selves. I am initially delighted to meet up with this signature, but in short time I find myself experiencing the emotional pain of rejection. My hope in the beginning is that I can watch the other bloom under the bright sun of my attention. But there is one inside ME who cries to be brought out of her dark cave. It is SHE who puppeteers from the depths.

"I am my own Beloved Child. Here on Earth, our children help us to learn this loving care. They are our external receptors, the lights which end our blindness. But only partially. Until we stand for the child within, we are still blinded by illusion."

"There is no end to Illusion. But there is a continuous return to Home."

Somewhere in the time leading up to May 11, I became free of this illusion, the karmic chain I mentioned above. I felt this internal wound close, healing through many parallel incarnations, healing through the collective. I became Whole and returned Home.

(Please note: there wasn't anything I could "do" to speed up this karmic release. The only actions taken were those of returning to the still point inside, and connecting with my heart again and again. In my experience, it is counterproductive to go "shadow hunting". There is no correlation between New Earth Consciousness and "your retirement plan" - i.e, the idea that, if you do all the work now, you can live happy and free later!". No. Release that programming and turn to joy in each moment. Your shadows will find you at the perfect time, guaranteed!)

The following prayer came through my heart as a gift of healing for all who've ever answered the call of my wounded innocence, showing up in my reality to mirror it back to me.

To All my Loved Ones:

"Do not worry. I am taking care of this. I know you love me, and you want to see that I'm taken care of. I am telling you, I've got it. You are free to take care of you. You are free to open yourself to your own loving care. I will still be here. I can see you now through the eyes of a loving grandmother, instead of a needy parent or lover. I choose me, so you are free. These burdens i've placed upon you, naively, were never yours to bear. The costumes I made you wear, roles I made you play in my story, they were never the truth of Who You Are. I release you now, and ask your forgiveness. I thank you for being the loving Angel that you are, agreeing to come and suffer under these illusions with me. I called and you appeared. You are a perfect representation of God's love for Each and Every One."

Is this not the greatest proof of my power as a creator, of the Mother's Ultimate Love for me? Whatever signal I send out into the universe, it will be answered. Angels will show up in the form of Unhealed Others, playing roles which obscure their True Divine Nature, all so I may experience myself through this world of form. I can create suffering. THAT is how much I am loved!

It may seem counterintuitive that our ability to suffer is an indication of the Mother's unconditional love for us, of our Universe's unwavering response to our creative power. You can command any story into existence. You can create ANYTHING you believe in, EVEN SUFFERING, which is an entirely unnatural condition for a divine being. WAKE UP out of suffering. Embrace your spiritual maturity and expand into your next greatest embodiment of LOVE.

I love you.

Ashtara Ka Na Ma Ki

Letting go of Struggle, The surfer's analogy, transforming your "Should" into Joyful Anticipation

May 15, 2018

May 9 2018 - on this day we revisited Dave's Coffee in Charlestown, RI. The cherry, dogwoods, and other flowering trees were in full bloom, with a blue sky and mild temperature. We were reminded of our trip there at this time last year, where we worked on the mandala "devotion", and were overwhelmed with a feeling of nostalgia and gratitude.

This was a clear day over all, with increased ability to hear and follow inner guidance.

Still, even on this, the perfect day, there was a tension, a veil, a cloud, covering our Soul's Expression. This discomfort, difficult to describe in words, can best be attributed to a feeling that we "should" be further along on our path than we are.

Message on Creativity. Poetry inspired by those magnificent cherry trees. Happy Spring!

How to convert your "should" into Joyful Anticipation

When posing the question to our inner guidance, "what is this energy of "should", and what can we do with it?" we received the following message:

First, the invitation is to cease all struggle. You can be "beaten" down my life, or you can relax gracefully in Trust. How many times have you done this before (ascended with your human form)? If this is your first, or even 100th time, be patient. Find a way to be grateful in every moment. We know how hard those pendulum swings can be.

Indeed, yes. and now we are receiving a vision, it looks like a surfer riding waves between rocky shorelines.

The Surfer Analogy:

Awakening is a constant cycle of activation and integration. As the human learns to relax into surrender, it feels like he/she is getting "wrecked" by life. In a sense, s/he is. After all, the ego structure, that projection of the soul which allows for the experience of complete separation from All Life, is being slowly dismantled, to be replaced by an entirely new soul vehicle.

I began feeling into the "up and down" cycles of light body activation (i.e blissful realizations, expansions in consciousness, feeling our true potential, fears disappearing- the reason we keep going on this path!) followed by periods of integration (uh oh! All that new light information is not compatible with our dense physical reality and the vibration of our physical body. In order to fully download it and encode it into our existence, any emotions, traumas, and beliefs which are "in the way" will need to be processed out, and/or dismantled) that are inherent in the ascension process.

The swings can be so hard at first. You are constantly falling off your surfboard, swallowing water, the salt burning your eyes and nose. Just a moment ago you were expertly surfing the waves, feeling the ecstasy of this ride, forgetting completely the feeling of falling off. This is perfect! Some day, you will anticipate the fall. You will slow down, dismount your board, and relax your body. You will learn to love the time in the water, as long as you remember its transient nature.

As a human, this experience can be very disheartening. My own human aspect said, "I can't feel this yet. I'm still crying inside over the "falls". I'm still attached to the surfing. Is there a way to "step out" of this cycle? If yes, does this mean we "give up" surfing all together?"

The answer I received was "surfing becomes flying. Are You Ready To Fly??"

Whoa. Just pause on that for a moment. Eventually we leave the water entirely.

Instantly I felt a sadness come over me. I love surfing. I love the exhilaration, I love being human! Am I really ready to leave this all behind? Ask yourself this question when you feel frustrated with where you are. *******

The Buddhist Lesson

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In one of her recent daily updates on Instagram, spiritual teacher Teal Swan told a buddhist story, another analogy for the process of awakening. It went something like this:

"Day 1- I walk down a street. There's a huge hole in the street. I fall into the hole. I feel powerless. I can't stand it down here. Its not my fault that I fell in, and it takes forever to get out.

Day 2- I walk down the street. There's a huge hole in the street. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in. I can't believe I'm in the same place. It takes a long time to get out.

Day 3- I walk down the street. There's a huge hole in the street. I see the hole, but I fall in anyway, out of habit. I see that its my fault that I'm here. I get out immediately.

Day 4- I walk down the street. I see that there's a big hole in the street. I walk around it.

Day 5- I walk down a different street.

Ah-ha. This is the same process described by the surfer analogy. The flying is Day 5!

As we awaken, we will cycle through the different "days" in this story again and again. Spiritual awakening is not a linear process, a journey we take once and reach the end. It is a layered, multidimensional transformation that really has no end at all. Does that truth inspire relief in your body, or despair? Either way, take heart. Things ARE lightening up. All of your devotion to your soul, to authenticity, to truth, is rewriting your destiny, expanding your capacity for joy, love, and pleasure, in each moment. Look back to 1 year ago and FEEL how far you have come. Do you have more space from things which previously triggered you? Is there a sense of trust in your mission, your role in this Divine plan, that helps you navigate the difficult times more easily? Have you made tangible changes to your life, your work, your relationships, the place you live? Have you increased your ability to receive happiness?

Transmute your "shoulds" into Joyful Anticipation

If you are feeling weighed down by "shoulds", feeling a distance between where you are and where you'd like to be, try the following practice:

Begin automatic writing (writing from feeling without lots of input from the logical mind) a list of all the things you "should" have, or be doing now. Then, rewrite them as phrases of Joyful Anticipation. These things are all coming to you!

See my list of Anticipations below.

I Joyfully Anticipate being the Master of my Reality.

I Joyfully Anticipate living carefree with Ultimate Abundance.

I Joyfully Anticipate an Open Creative Channel, bursting with Inspiration and Love.

I Joyfully Anticipate Engaging in Active Leadership, celebrating the Gifts and Talents of my Brothers and Sisters.

I Joyfully Anticipate being Anchored in Unity Consciousness, fully feeling the Happiness of our Combined Contributions.

I Joyfully Anticipate Wholeness of Love for Myself, allowing all external relationships to reflect this Love back to Me.

I Joyfully Anticipate full Recognition and Celebration of my Uniqueness, the very special nature of my Cosmic Divine Make Up.

I Joyfully Anticipate FREEDOM of all kinds, born of Faith, Trust, Love, Depth, and Knowing.

I Joyfully Anticipate Graduation to Purposeful, Heart Centered Service of Others from an Overflowing Vessel.

I Joyfully Anticipate living from a Full Cup, blossoming like the Cherry trees in the second week of May!

Each of these affirmations were previously stored as "shoulds" in my field. I have now released them into the ease of Joyful Anticipation!

Struggle. What can be done to Lessen it?

At the end of the writing session above, I was still feeling unsettled. What do we do when we feel frustration; when we are frustrated that we feel the way we do, frustrated that we cannot yet fully expand in Love when confronted by our mirrors? How can we learn to love the time underground, the "seed" stage, the potential stage, a necessary part of blooming? What do we do when we feel "IT SHOULD BE BETTER THAN THIS!" ?

A thank you to Divine Father, spirit of Babaji, for this message:

Release the struggle. Make This Easy. RISE to the Level of Self Love Required to ALLOW your transformation to be easy. Soon you will see that your limitation is actually your ability to ALLOW pleasure. See this. How much joy can you actually flow through you, (before you shut it down)? Focus here.

Find where you are blocked, where you deny yourself the status of Divine Being. Where are you "NOT WORTH IT??". SEE. OPEN YOUR EYES. SEE WITH COMPASSION AND LOVE. BLESS THE MIRRORS WHICH COME INTO YOUR LIFE. THANK THEM FOR THEIR SERVICE. YOU CHOSE THIS. YOU CHOSE THEM.

********************************

Ashtara Speaks

You can ease your suffering by remembering that you are eternal, remembering how the heavens rejoice in your expansion. Remember that you create everything you see out of pure love for yourself. Remember this, and the clouds will part. The Veil rises to call your attention to a neglected aspect (of yourself). Heaven is always here, in every moment. There is really no waiting. Remember, all separation is an illusion- A Grand Illusion allowing creation to expand. YOU ARE DIVINE, YOU ARE DIVINE, YOU ARE DIVINE!

**************************************************************************

Light Language imagery: Affirm Soul Intention, Soften human attachments, And Release.

Closing thoughts

When something pleasurable, joyful, fulfilling, nurturing, ecstatic, loving, or desirable comes into your field, open yourself wide to receive it. Then, open even wider. Keep opening.

I like to use this phrase from Jessica Jones at Love's Mission: "YES please, MORE please, THANK you!" Repeat this phrase whenever something feels good! Your Universe responds to your vibration. BECOME the receptacle for all of your desires <3.

I love you!

Ashtara Ka, as Chelsie Sullivan

A Vision of Becoming- video compilation

December 4, 2017

I feel possibility all around me, sizzling like the potential of lightening before it reaches the ground. 'Shhhh' it says. 'Can you hear me? Do not worry about concreting this energy all at once. Anticipate its explosion in waves - building, sparking, releasing'.

2018 Marches in like a preschooler headed for free play - hands stuffed with play dough jars; tripping, stumbling, but ultimately reaching its destination, fresh ideas blooming in its head, unrestricted by the burden of knowing. 2017 recedes like the tide, painting the shore less and less with each ebb and flow. She has already absorbed that which is no longer needed into her depths. You may recall the great storms of this year, bringing the magic of destruction to your shore.

Now, made innocent once again through the stripping away of things you thought you were, you turn to face the exuberant child barreling towards you, and open your arms with bruised faith and love. Now, you are full of the expectation and hope secretly planted in the ashes of your scorched and wild heart.

This year is about exploration and play, the pain and joy of birthing and becoming. Forget everything you know. Use the blessing of beginnings and endings to let out your leash on life. Whatever you believe, you are right. No exceptions.