May 9 2018 - on this day we revisited Dave's Coffee in Charlestown, RI. The cherry, dogwoods, and other flowering trees were in full bloom, with a blue sky and mild temperature. We were reminded of our trip there at this time last year, where we worked on the mandala "devotion", and were overwhelmed with a feeling of nostalgia and gratitude.
This was a clear day over all, with increased ability to hear and follow inner guidance.
Still, even on this, the perfect day, there was a tension, a veil, a cloud, covering our Soul's Expression. This discomfort, difficult to describe in words, can best be attributed to a feeling that we "should" be further along on our path than we are.
Message on Creativity. Poetry inspired by those magnificent cherry trees. Happy Spring!
Beautiful back room at Dave's <3
How to convert your "should" into Joyful Anticipation
When posing the question to our inner guidance, "what is this energy of "should", and what can we do with it?" we received the following message:
First, the invitation is to cease all struggle. You can be "beaten" down my life, or you can relax gracefully in Trust. How many times have you done this before (ascended with your human form)? If this is your first, or even 100th time, be patient. Find a way to be grateful in every moment. We know how hard those pendulum swings can be.
Indeed, yes. and now we are receiving a vision, it looks like a surfer riding waves between rocky shorelines.
The Surfer Analogy:
Awakening is a constant cycle of activation and integration. As the human learns to relax into surrender, it feels like he/she is getting "wrecked" by life. In a sense, s/he is. After all, the ego structure, that projection of the soul which allows for the experience of complete separation from All Life, is being slowly dismantled, to be replaced by an entirely new soul vehicle.
I began feeling into the "up and down" cycles of light body activation (i.e blissful realizations, expansions in consciousness, feeling our true potential, fears disappearing- the reason we keep going on this path!) followed by periods of integration (uh oh! All that new light information is not compatible with our dense physical reality and the vibration of our physical body. In order to fully download it and encode it into our existence, any emotions, traumas, and beliefs which are "in the way" will need to be processed out, and/or dismantled) that are inherent in the ascension process.
The swings can be so hard at first. You are constantly falling off your surfboard, swallowing water, the salt burning your eyes and nose. Just a moment ago you were expertly surfing the waves, feeling the ecstasy of this ride, forgetting completely the feeling of falling off. This is perfect! Some day, you will anticipate the fall. You will slow down, dismount your board, and relax your body. You will learn to love the time in the water, as long as you remember its transient nature.
As a human, this experience can be very disheartening. My own human aspect said, "I can't feel this yet. I'm still crying inside over the "falls". I'm still attached to the surfing. Is there a way to "step out" of this cycle? If yes, does this mean we "give up" surfing all together?"
The answer I received was "surfing becomes flying. Are You Ready To Fly??"
Whoa. Just pause on that for a moment. Eventually we leave the water entirely.
Instantly I felt a sadness come over me. I love surfing. I love the exhilaration, I love being human! Am I really ready to leave this all behind? Ask yourself this question when you feel frustrated with where you are. *******
The Buddhist Lesson
In one of her recent daily updates on Instagram, spiritual teacher Teal Swan told a buddhist story, another analogy for the process of awakening. It went something like this:
"Day 1- I walk down a street. There's a huge hole in the street. I fall into the hole. I feel powerless. I can't stand it down here. Its not my fault that I fell in, and it takes forever to get out.
Day 2- I walk down the street. There's a huge hole in the street. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in. I can't believe I'm in the same place. It takes a long time to get out.
Day 3- I walk down the street. There's a huge hole in the street. I see the hole, but I fall in anyway, out of habit. I see that its my fault that I'm here. I get out immediately.
Day 4- I walk down the street. I see that there's a big hole in the street. I walk around it.
Day 5- I walk down a different street.
Ah-ha. This is the same process described by the surfer analogy. The flying is Day 5!
As we awaken, we will cycle through the different "days" in this story again and again. Spiritual awakening is not a linear process, a journey we take once and reach the end. It is a layered, multidimensional transformation that really has no end at all. Does that truth inspire relief in your body, or despair? Either way, take heart. Things ARE lightening up. All of your devotion to your soul, to authenticity, to truth, is rewriting your destiny, expanding your capacity for joy, love, and pleasure, in each moment. Look back to 1 year ago and FEEL how far you have come. Do you have more space from things which previously triggered you? Is there a sense of trust in your mission, your role in this Divine plan, that helps you navigate the difficult times more easily? Have you made tangible changes to your life, your work, your relationships, the place you live? Have you increased your ability to receive happiness?
Transmute your "shoulds" into Joyful Anticipation
If you are feeling weighed down by "shoulds", feeling a distance between where you are and where you'd like to be, try the following practice:
Begin automatic writing (writing from feeling without lots of input from the logical mind) a list of all the things you "should" have, or be doing now. Then, rewrite them as phrases of Joyful Anticipation. These things are all coming to you!
See my list of Anticipations below.
I Joyfully Anticipate being the Master of my Reality.
I Joyfully Anticipate living carefree with Ultimate Abundance.
I Joyfully Anticipate an Open Creative Channel, bursting with Inspiration and Love.
I Joyfully Anticipate Engaging in Active Leadership, celebrating the Gifts and Talents of my Brothers and Sisters.
I Joyfully Anticipate being Anchored in Unity Consciousness, fully feeling the Happiness of our Combined Contributions.
I Joyfully Anticipate Wholeness of Love for Myself, allowing all external relationships to reflect this Love back to Me.
I Joyfully Anticipate full Recognition and Celebration of my Uniqueness, the very special nature of my Cosmic Divine Make Up.
I Joyfully Anticipate FREEDOM of all kinds, born of Faith, Trust, Love, Depth, and Knowing.
I Joyfully Anticipate Graduation to Purposeful, Heart Centered Service of Others from an Overflowing Vessel.
I Joyfully Anticipate living from a Full Cup, blossoming like the Cherry trees in the second week of May!
Each of these affirmations were previously stored as "shoulds" in my field. I have now released them into the ease of Joyful Anticipation!
Struggle. What can be done to Lessen it?
At the end of the writing session above, I was still feeling unsettled. What do we do when we feel frustration; when we are frustrated that we feel the way we do, frustrated that we cannot yet fully expand in Love when confronted by our mirrors? How can we learn to love the time underground, the "seed" stage, the potential stage, a necessary part of blooming? What do we do when we feel "IT SHOULD BE BETTER THAN THIS!" ?
A thank you to Divine Father, spirit of Babaji, for this message:
Release the struggle. Make This Easy. RISE to the Level of Self Love Required to ALLOW your transformation to be easy. Soon you will see that your limitation is actually your ability to ALLOW pleasure. See this. How much joy can you actually flow through you, (before you shut it down)? Focus here.
Find where you are blocked, where you deny yourself the status of Divine Being. Where are you "NOT WORTH IT??". SEE. OPEN YOUR EYES. SEE WITH COMPASSION AND LOVE. BLESS THE MIRRORS WHICH COME INTO YOUR LIFE. THANK THEM FOR THEIR SERVICE. YOU CHOSE THIS. YOU CHOSE THEM.
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Ashtara Speaks
You can ease your suffering by remembering that you are eternal, remembering how the heavens rejoice in your expansion. Remember that you create everything you see out of pure love for yourself. Remember this, and the clouds will part. The Veil rises to call your attention to a neglected aspect (of yourself). Heaven is always here, in every moment. There is really no waiting. Remember, all separation is an illusion- A Grand Illusion allowing creation to expand. YOU ARE DIVINE, YOU ARE DIVINE, YOU ARE DIVINE!
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Light Language imagery: Affirm Soul Intention, Soften human attachments, And Release.
Closing thoughts
When something pleasurable, joyful, fulfilling, nurturing, ecstatic, loving, or desirable comes into your field, open yourself wide to receive it. Then, open even wider. Keep opening.
I like to use this phrase from Jessica Jones at Love's Mission: "YES please, MORE please, THANK you!" Repeat this phrase whenever something feels good! Your Universe responds to your vibration. BECOME the receptacle for all of your desires <3.
I love you!
Ashtara Ka, as Chelsie Sullivan