What does it mean to “choose yourself?”

We've encountered this phrase many times.

The concept it easy to understand:

It says, "No one can take care of me and my needs better than I can." "No one is more responsible for my well being than me." "Only I can know what is best for me, i.e what is in alignment with my own soul." "I can never truly know what is best for another."

Have you ever seen this saying - “I am not what you see in me. You are what you see in me”?

Lets flip this saying, and allow ourselves to be the student: "You are not what I see in you. I Am what I see in you".

Only when we deeply "inner stand " these words, can we let go of the arrogance of sacrificing ourselves for the benefit of others. Only when we deeply feel this truth, can we turn the laser beam of our discerning focus toward ourselves.

It takes breaking free from some deeply imprinted programs to really see, that any action we take to compromise our true selves for the perceived benefit of another, leads to direct creation of suffering for all.

Remember that true Service to Others is a Natural Response to all of your own Needs being Met Internally.

Moving away from the Polarity of "Love" and "Not Love"

In the New World, we are no longer working with polarities like “right" and “wrong", "good" and "bad" "this" and "that". There only exists a scale of Love. Many of the beliefs we hold that currently keep us from enlightenment contain large amounts of love. They are just not the highest levels available to us Now.

Before we approach the next highest level of Love, or the next greatest expansion of love, we are blinded to it. It does not exist in our reality, and therefore has no relevance in our life. When we first glimpse it, it often slips out of our fingers, leaving only the faintest hint of its scent in our hands.

(Note: When we are in this stage of upgrade, it is important to relax into observation. The less judgement or preference you subject yourself to, the easier your upgrade will be.)

Eventually, this realization of Higher Love builds up enough momentum to become part of us physically, and at this point we can no longer turn away from it.

(Note: we build momentum by opening space in our bodies for this love to flow in, calling it to us repeatedly, and holding its vibration as often as possible).

We must choose ourselves in All Ways, and we must do it bearing the signature of this new Love.

At this point, we've already rearranged our internal puzzle pieces. We just need to click them into place.

“I Choose Me, and I do it for Love. I Choose Me, I Free You”.

Conviction certainly makes difficult choices easier, but doesn’t erase the pain inherent in breaking with the old self. Only Faith, Surrender, and Trust can do that.

But this is not why I'm speaking to you today. I came to deliver the following phrase:

“I Choose Me, and I do it for Love. I Choose Me, I Free You”.

This mantra flew in like a golden pegasus, and whisked me away to a new timeline on my ascension journey.

The Eternal Grace of Self Love

Early on in the journey to Krystic (Christ) Love, we may “choose ourselves” with a bit of hardness. This hardness feels necessary to our protection when we have suffered in relationship. “ I must turn away from you and choose myself". "It is time for me to leave you behind and focus on my own healing”, or, “I’m reserving my energy knowing that I can only give from a full cup”. That last one is softer. Things are beginning to lighten.

Know that whatever feelings you encounter on your healing journey, they are your greatest helpers in that moment, and demand to be honored as such regardless of any other ideas you may have. .

And also I offer you this, as a prayer to your journey of Self Love. Say this in your own voice;

“I Choose Me. I Choose to Honor my Desires, my Heart, my Life. I choose to Listen, and to do what is most Loving and Supportive for my Self. I do not need or expect anyone else to do this for me. I Choose my Self, and therefore, I Free All Others from that responsibility.”

My Story

This prayer was born onto the page of my journal at 7:20 am on the 11th of May. The sun was shining on my back deck, and the bumblebees were just getting started with their daily work. Dried sage smoldered in a clamshell just beyond my book, smoke sweeping across the page at intervals. The black birds argued in the sky as the songbirds called out sweetly in the distance.

I wrote, “Today, I choose Me. Yesterday I also chose me, and the day before that, and one half day before that. Previously, I was choosing something else”.

Three days prior, I had broken through a chain of Karmic relationships, wherein I made another the focus of my love and attention, recognizing something special in them that I desired to nurture and watch bloom.

"This is not a narrow minded, self centered choosing. It is a gentle, graceful love, moving into my cell tissue. It is the clearing clouds, the rising sun, following a storm."

"This choosing is freedom. My own, and the others whom I'd kept locked in shapes and figures, needing them to confirm my worth and feel my love to make it real."

"I choose me, I Free You".

Throughout my life I've carried a pattern of "falling in love" with the innocence of an emotionally underdeveloped or unavailable person, usually of the opposite sex. These people are always potent souls, shining brightly beneath the surface of their conditioned selves. I am initially delighted to meet up with this signature, but in short time I find myself experiencing the emotional pain of rejection. My hope in the beginning is that I can watch the other bloom under the bright sun of my attention. But there is one inside ME who cries to be brought out of her dark cave. It is SHE who puppeteers from the depths.

"I am my own Beloved Child. Here on Earth, our children help us to learn this loving care. They are our external receptors, the lights which end our blindness. But only partially. Until we stand for the child within, we are still blinded by illusion."

"There is no end to Illusion. But there is a continuous return to Home."

Somewhere in the time leading up to May 11, I became free of this illusion, the karmic chain I mentioned above. I felt this internal wound close, healing through many parallel incarnations, healing through the collective. I became Whole and returned Home.

(Please note: there wasn't anything I could "do" to speed up this karmic release. The only actions taken were those of returning to the still point inside, and connecting with my heart again and again. In my experience, it is counterproductive to go "shadow hunting". There is no correlation between New Earth Consciousness and "your retirement plan" - i.e, the idea that, if you do all the work now, you can live happy and free later!". No. Release that programming and turn to joy in each moment. Your shadows will find you at the perfect time, guaranteed!)

The following prayer came through my heart as a gift of healing for all who've ever answered the call of my wounded innocence, showing up in my reality to mirror it back to me.

To All my Loved Ones:

"Do not worry. I am taking care of this. I know you love me, and you want to see that I'm taken care of. I am telling you, I've got it. You are free to take care of you. You are free to open yourself to your own loving care. I will still be here. I can see you now through the eyes of a loving grandmother, instead of a needy parent or lover. I choose me, so you are free. These burdens i've placed upon you, naively, were never yours to bear. The costumes I made you wear, roles I made you play in my story, they were never the truth of Who You Are. I release you now, and ask your forgiveness. I thank you for being the loving Angel that you are, agreeing to come and suffer under these illusions with me. I called and you appeared. You are a perfect representation of God's love for Each and Every One."

Is this not the greatest proof of my power as a creator, of the Mother's Ultimate Love for me? Whatever signal I send out into the universe, it will be answered. Angels will show up in the form of Unhealed Others, playing roles which obscure their True Divine Nature, all so I may experience myself through this world of form. I can create suffering. THAT is how much I am loved!

It may seem counterintuitive that our ability to suffer is an indication of the Mother's unconditional love for us, of our Universe's unwavering response to our creative power. You can command any story into existence. You can create ANYTHING you believe in, EVEN SUFFERING, which is an entirely unnatural condition for a divine being. WAKE UP out of suffering. Embrace your spiritual maturity and expand into your next greatest embodiment of LOVE.

I love you.

Ashtara Ka Na Ma Ki