Journaling into Ascension

Journaling is a reliable way to access the subconscious and superconscious mind, and a digestible way to share the energies that feel so beautiful, and so different from what is available in a typical western life.

Writing has remained a constant in my life. I can't remember exactly when I started writing, but it was in the early mornings before the sun came up. Someone had suggested the book "The Artist's Way", which includes philosophies and practices to help one get over blocks to creativity. I never actually got through the book, but soon after it arrived I began journaling every morning.

Truly, I was amazed by what came out through my pen. The journaling sessions usually began in the voice of my human angst. At the time, I was struggling with a lot of things, mostly my own mind. I wanted to know why my life didn't feel as high vibe as the spiritual teachings I was devouring. I wanted to know how to overcome the limitations of my mind and emotions. I wanted to feel bigger, freer, more loving than I did. I wanted to know the truth, of who I really was and what I was doing here.

Miraculously, the heaviness of my writing would lighten as I went on. I would then be joined by a voice that spoke in wildly broad, compassionate, and wise strokes. Intuitively I felt that this vast consciousness was another part of ME, and I referred to it as my Higher Self. As I wrote down the words that this voice was offering, my emotional and mental state would be completely transformed. I never left a journaling session feeling the same as I did at the start. It felt like I'd discovered some kind of magic tool.

Eventually you get to know the feeling signature of your higher-self voice, and begin discerning between different aspects of your human voice, too. You realized that "I" is actually a compilation of many, many voices.

I began sharing some of my journaling pages on this website in 2017. It felt kind of like my boyfriend Jim tossing an engagement ring onto the table of a restaurant in rural Connecticut, where we sat on a Tuesday evening. I'm reminded of the look in his eyes as he searched me for a response to a question he hadn't actually asked. We both knew it was coming- I was pregnant and we'd already discussed getting married. But still, there was some inherent risk in it for him. The risk was in these questions: "Will you accept me? Do you like what I've done here?".

Unlike me and these writings, Jim had to sit there and wait for my answer, his anticipatory face exposed to all judgements. When I would press the "publish" button on my editing page, and later share the link to my personal Facebook account, I felt like a was tossing a love note into the street with a pair of my underwear in it, then hiding behind a bush until I was brave enough to peek out again. There was this sense of a "vulnerability hangover" where my head would burn and I'd be overcome by waves of horror at what I'd revealed about myself. Yet, something greater inside me insisted that I share my words with an anonymous audience.

Though I felt rather small in comparison to what was awakening within me, and though my life was far from perfect, I wanted to share the beauty of my soul in the hope that it could inspire others to remember the beauty of theirs.

I want to present as a storyteller, one who captures the imaginations and hearts of others and leaves them feeling more empowered, more liberated, than they did before. I'd like to present you with an invitation to explore my temple, and I hope you leave feeling that you're a part of it.

But becoming visible takes the ego for a ride. There are wide swings from "I'm so awesome, everyone should be looking at me and my work" to "I'm an arrogant piece of crap, how could I think anyone would care what I have to say?".

[Check out this Medium article on Ego Stuff]

Journaling opened my channel and allowed my Higher Self to move through me. In order to make myself a better vessel for these frequencies to live in I meditated, chanted mantras, took classes, and consumed spiritual writings and teachings like a starving bear after winter. I opened pathways within me for healing, sensing, and expressing new energy that felt huge and exciting. I started channeling other beings in addition to the one I recognized as my higher self, and I called them Mother Mary, Quan Yin, Jesus, and Babaji.

[Check out my Guides and Mentors page]

I've branched out from simply sharing my unedited journal entries, closing my eyes and pressing "publish". In the last couple of years I've written some articles from a culmination of experience that read in "teacher voice". These articles are still vulnerable, but less raw than my earlier writings.

Explore your many voices, with the goal of becoming the unified voice.

[Check out my Blog page and maybe these links to Medium…]